The whole world is one of opportunity through the magic of communication! I think sometimes people cannot see the mountains through the trees. I just had thought this morning that struck me as very interesting; every time I tell people what I do for a living, the ask my “how’s it going?” Its funny to consider, because I have never really understood how to take this question. I’ve had different approaches over the years in how I answer that but it really has led me to ponder. I feel like a lot of people would jump on someone for asking that question, because many people have created this idea that they have to fight for success, and thats not necessarily true . Success should not be about competition or having to prove someone wrong. It should be rather the extreme success of a postulate. Basically, a postulate is the idea, any action cannot occur until is first conceived. A decision to make something happy or to just for it is the primary thing before any action can occur.
Rather than get all philosophical on you, which I do pretty regularly, let’s just say true success is the bringing to life of an idea, not the destruction of another. So, let’s return to our conversation, where I tell someone what I do for a living and they ask me how its going. Many people would approach this several ways, the first is something I did for a while, then I looked at it and I was like wow, would I say that? It wasn’t something I would typically say, so it sounded like I was pitching, in a creepy way that would kind of people jump back. I would tell them just how great it was going and where I was headed and why they should join me. Let’s just say I wasn’t winning very many friends like that, and every communication I made, sounded like a pitch.
Then theres the other way which I highly do not recommend: bashing someones hopes and dreams into the ground and leaving them theoretically crawling back to their car. I say this, mainly because I have been on both sides of this conversation, and thats literally the only way I can describe it. You immediately go on the offensive and the same time sound a bit offensive. You trash their job and then snidely ask them how theirs is going; this goes down in a whole variety of ways. The one tip I’ll give you is this: If you respond like this, it tells them not only are you not doing well, it will imminently be over and soon. Theres no better way to show someone not only do you not have tact, but they should do whatever they can to avoid your career choice.
So, now that I’ve told you exactly what not to do, so what do you do? Its really funny here, because the true answer is just to communicate. However, we have been out of a habit of this for so long, that we just do not quite no how to do it. This is in general, as well as in an business where you are selling an opportunity. Much of what I do for a living involves recruiting, I’m always getting people behind my ideas, and people are not going to want to follow someone that communicates in such a way that they want to hide behind mom’s legs. If someone asks you how its going, theres several ways you can take it. You could say “It’s going well, what is it that you do,” of “Its going well, why do you ask?” Theres a number of different ways that you can take it, the second response that I just gave is my favorite, because then you truly find out why they are asking, now be ready here unless it is negative. However, most people are truly coming from a place of curiosity and this may be the conversation that you always wanted to have with people, but just were not guiding communication properly .
So, you will never get anywhere by thinking that someone else needs to fail in order for you to win; that’s just not the case. That totally may not be your viewpoint, and I hope its not, but examine your communication, because you may be giving people that idea. Truly learning how to communicate will help you not only to master life but also whatever business you are trying to build.