Have you ever looked at life and wondered how you got to this point? Ever done some real serious soul searching? I think its at moments like this that we really learn a lot about who we are and our purpose. We all drive towards something, well hopefully we do. That big goal is something so big that it makes us drool at times. However, I think sometimes, we do not really look at those left in the wake of our movement. We have many relationships in our lives, and when we are moving so fast towards a goal, which is a very good thing, we tend to have some issues with keeping them and creating them.
We see our purpose, our goal, sitting there on the horizon and just ours for the taking. We tell everyone we know about this huge goal we are looking for and we attempt to mobilize them to help us get there. Many times they will look at our goal, see its a good thing, but since they also have their own purpose, they are not really interested in mobilizing for ours.
When you take a step back and try to look at this as an observer, it makes total sense, we have our purpose and they have theirs; we can coexist as we always have. However, there are some of us, myself included, that continue to push those friends. Our purpose is good, why wouldn’t they want to join us or push to get us there? Well, thats very simple: they have their own purpose.
Our friends often support us and don’t always directly want to tell us ‘no,’ that they will not be mobilizing for our purpose. We often look at this neglect for the word not, as an unsaid yes, and the push continues; thats when the friends start stepping back. The easiest way to explain it, since the best words really don’t exist, is that you are basically telling them that their purpose is not important. You are telling them how great what you are doing is, and it probably is, but not granting them that what they are doing is great too.
You call them to check in, because you’re friends thats what you do, but then you always find a way to bring it back to your purpose. Calls stop getting answered, the answered texts become further between. Then, one day, the communication just stops. In our driven minds, we look at it, and come up with the following reaction: “that jerk!”
If you really looked at the situation for what it is, the jerk may really be in the mirror.
This conversation I’ve seen happen numerous times in my business career. We alienate friends, then blame them for breaking communication. Now, I want to go back and say that this is a two way street. When we try to mobilize our friends for our purpose, and it isn’t their purpose, and we can sense it. Then, we have to have the courage, which a lot of people don’t have is this modern era, to really ask them if its not their purpose. Take that response for what it is, and vet that its genuine, but if you friend says no, take it as no, or actually listen for them to say that, not just snowplow them. Also, the friend bears some responsibility here, say no, and make it a bit easier. If you’ve said no and it hasn’t been acknowledged, then you’ve done your part to avoid this cycle.
Life changes, purpose change, and friends may mobilize to our purpose in the future or us to theirs. Keep communication open, and remember, we all have our own purposes, and as long as they are good for mankind, go for it.